Monday, August 24, 2020
Peer assessments!
For literacy this week we have been editing some of our writing and peer assessments. I have chosen two goals for my writing and then altered my first draft so it was the final copy. My goals were for all my sentences to link together well and good spelling and grammar. I think I have done most of the sentences well and I'm pleased with them but spelling is an ongoing problem I have but I really hope extra practice at home will help with that. This is my final copy. Enjoy!
The woman is frozen as she sees the tree. The heart carved into it more than 15 years ago still stands brightly within the mist of trees. Her dog brakes loudly, the noise echoing through the trees but she didn’t notice. Her mind flashes with memories of her and her sister, playing at the beach, the playground and at the school fair back in year 6.
‘If only I could bring her back’ She thought, pressing my palm against the engraved shape.
No. There was nothing she could do to bring her back. And, nothing she could do to make up for what she did. Tears don’t count as an apology.
1 comment:
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ell done, Clara. I can see you have worked hard on your spelling and grammar. A couple of small things to pick up - the dogs BARKS - rather than BRAKES. Also, 'she thought, pressing MY palm..." should be HER palm. The idea of your story is intriguing and the final paragraph works well, leaving a mystery in the reader's mind
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